Saturday, October 3, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me and a Magnificent Sadness

62 years ago, many babies squealed as they emerged from many wombs and one of them was me! I spent my birthday night in a motel somewhere in central California, counting the hours till I would be back in merciful Oregon.

Still embroiled in the mortgage mire: hanging onto the house with fingernails...the renters are Jessie and her daaughter Becca and Jessie's sister Lauren, Pacific students. The house is up for sale. They wanted to buy it but ...

My humble abode is my motorhome, a 1986 Toyota Dolphin, in the back of the lot; it's handy for sleeping but falls way short on "showering." I do have a working phone, but the best way to reach me is still

Movies: Saw Surrogates with Bruce Willis. 3.5 stars. Can't wait for Michael Moore's new Captialism: A Love Story, although reviews complain it's a little slow.

Radio: Are you listening to AM620KPOJ? You can listen on the Internet, too. Progressive radio accounts for only 94% of all radio. It's radical, it's logical, it's dynamic, it's hope!!

"Wait for me, Big Girl!" On September 17th, my canine soulmate of 3.5 years was in a tragic accident and was paralyzed. I had to put her down on the 19th and I' still going in and out of grief. My friend and neighbor Margaret held me up and gave me the most beautiful photo card which I will try to publish: Lucy Lu (a perfect profile) and shots of her having fun on an Oregon beach during a camping trip while I was in Germany. I need a way to express how much she meant to me, working on that. I wrote a poem for her:

To My Dog Lucy
Mary Whitmore

You helped me feel more fully alive
Giving your joy freely to all who happened
To cross our path

You gave me all the bits of your being
And its wholeness
You lovingly waited eight and a half hours
In the car, chill or heat,
While I taught the children
You waited for me

I gave you love in every way I knew how
Because like a black mirror
You reflected my love back

You understood me
And I, you
Yet there were promises unspoken
Of worlds we would walk through
I wanted to help you walk into your
Dog Old Age
I knew you would stay with me for my ever

I know someone hurt you
When you were little
When you could not find your mother
You were lost
But with Big Lucy’s help
You found me
You adopted me
You herded me
You protected me

I am sorry for my part in your leaving
I am sorry for the silly squirrels’ part
I am sorry for the driver’s part
For the hardness of the road
For the beating of the sun
For the staring of the bystanders
The spinal cord
The bruising
The pain

You turned me from a cat person
To a Lucy person
Your love lifted my heart/soul/spirit/
To look into your eyes was to see ….
Unconditional love, sparks of light
Your only thought:
“What does Mary want or need?”
But you felt free to look the other way
When I wanted one of those tricks
Or offered you some morsel that just wasn’t
Exactly what you wanted right then
But I want you to know, Lucy,
The best tricks were the things you did
On your own:
Margaret and I agree that your
Lying with your hind legs stretched out
Behind you
Was just the cutest!
Your lying on top of me as I watched TV
Was so endearing—
Your good morning greeting
Made Mom smile
You amazed all of us not only
With your intelligence
But how you were a magnet for love
Children, adults, dogs, cats,
We all were drawn to your

Thank you, Lucy,
For three + years of joy.

Wait for me, Big Girl!
That's all I can say for today. Many thanks to Marv, Shannon, Kayla, Kassy, Janice, Marilyn, Barbara and others who comforted me--what would I do without you?

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